Purging....

I've been struggling with today's blog post for the past couple of days. It's a hard topic for me, yet it's so important to me. I want to finally write a book, not just any book, a story about me. I have no expectations that millions of people will read it and I will become insanely popular. That's not what I'm looking for. Closure, cleansing my soul, finally laying my past to rest...that's what I'm looking for. If my book is able to help heal others along the way, then I will be happy.

You see, I want to write about my life thus far. I am a survivor of child abuse. No matter how hard I try to forget that...I can't. It's always a part of me. It affects my everyday life whether I want to believe it or not. It affects my decisions on how to raise and discipline our children.

I have literally blocked out whole periods of my childhood. Sometimes the pain is too much and I don't want to remember. But it's important that I do. Because by remembering what happened to me, it reminds me that the cycle has been broken. I chose NOT to do the same to my children. I CHOSE to not spank my children. I chose to be the mother they need and not a mother they would grow to hate.

Now the time has finally come to tell my story. I know the process will be difficult, I'm already crying as I type this, but it's oh so necessary. I hope you
all will join me in this journey.